My Boss is Bullying Me
Working under a manipulative and a bully of a boss can be an incredibly distressing and a demoralizing experience. One such instance stands out vividly in my memory, during my time at a previous job.
I had just come back from maternity leave whereby my counterpart was covering my position, my male boss could not be bothered dealing with my “returning back to work” nature whilst I expressed every 3-4 hours, sleep deprived and slowly learning the ropes again after being on leave. He had also promised my counterpart a permanent role and she had threatened to leave if there wasn’t one available. On my third day back at work, I was told that it was expected that my position required full time hours and perhaps it was no longer the right position for me.
I was horrified and after putting up with this manipulative man for about 3 years, I made a painful decision to leave. I am sad to say that this is not an isolated event. Many times I have been mistreated at work, particularly because I am a lot younger than your usual manager and that I am a female. Bullying in the workplace happens and sometimes you feel that you have no other options but to leave.
Dealing with a boss that is a bully can be a challenging and stressful situation. I will go through some of the steps that helped me through this very difficult time and hopefully they will benefit you! Just remember that you are not alone.
1. Assess the situation: Determine whether your boss’s behaviour qualifies as bullying. Bullying typically involves repeated and harmful actions, such as verbal abuse, belittling, intimidation, or unfairly targeting an individual. It’s important to differentiate between a tough boss and a true bully. Asking for the opinion of someone you trust that is within the same team can be beneficial. This helped me rule out whether perhaps I was being too sensitive and also identifies some key witnesses. Just remember that when you seek for another opinion, that this is done discretely and with someone that you trust.
2. Document incidents: Keep a record of specific instances where your boss has exhibited bullying behavior. Note the dates, times, and details of each incident, including any witnesses present. This documentation will be valuable if you need to escalate the issue later.
3. Seek support: Talk to someone you trust, such as a colleague, mentor, or human resources representative. Share your experiences and seek their advice on how to handle the situation. They may provide guidance or offer support throughout the process.
4. Review company policies: Familiarize yourself with your organization’s policies regarding workplace bullying or harassment. Understand the reporting procedures, as well as any available channels for addressing such issues within your company.
5. Communicate assertively: If you feel comfortable, try addressing the issue directly with your boss. Choose an appropriate time and place, and calmly express your concerns about their behavior. Use “I” statements to describe how their actions affect you and your work environment. Remain respectful but firm in your communication. Be careful not to do this when you are distressed, give yourself some time, so that you are clear minded and speak calmly.
6. Report the issue: If addressing the matter with your boss directly doesn’t resolve the problem, or if you’re uncomfortable doing so, consider reporting the issue to your HR department or another designated authority within your organization. Present your documented evidence and provide a clear account of the incidents.
7. Maintain professionalism: While dealing with a manipulative boss can be emotionally challenging, it’s crucial to maintain professionalism in your interactions. Continue to perform your job duties to the best of your ability and seek support from colleagues or external sources, such as a counselor or therapist, if needed.
8. Explore external options: If internal channels do not resolve the issue or if your workplace lacks effective measures to address bullying, you may need to consider external options. This could involve seeking legal advice, contacting labor organizations or unions, or exploring alternative employment opportunities.
Remember, each situation is unique, and the appropriate steps may vary. It’s important to prioritize your well-being and take action to address the situation in a way that feels right for you. Speak up or speak to someone. No job is worth your mental health. Have you ever been bullied at work, perhaps by your boss? What did you do about it?
If you’re interested, here are some great books to read to help you navigate workplace bullying:
This post may contain affiliate links, which means I’ll receive a commission if you purchase through my link, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure here.